


Introduction

by TheSilverField



Category: Original Work
Genre: A Little About Me, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, my past, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 19:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16024199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverField/pseuds/TheSilverField
Summary: It's nice to meet you.





	1. Shower Thoughts

When people think bloodbath,

they think of a massacre,

a war between two nations.

But when I think bloodbath,

I think of the solitude of my nightly showers;

my excuse.

I think of loneliness so deep in my chest that it aches,

of memories of abuse that just won't stop;

my reasons.

I think of needing a distraction,

of finding a distraction in razors I busted apart with bricks;

my escape.

Self-loathing.

Self-inflicting.

I thought,

Maybe if I bleed enough,

the memories will seep out through the cracks I carve in my flesh.

A bloodbath was still a massacre,

a marring,

a distraction.

It was still a war between two nations.

My mind

and my body.

But for me,

it's a shower.


	2. May 22, 2018: An Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to meet you.

Eight years had never felt so lonely,

so empty.

Dishonest.

Eight years held me around the neck,

curled its fingers around my throat,

and squeezed.

Told me I wasn't good enough.

Squeezed.

Told me that I was an abomination,

that my love would never be returned,

because it was vile.

Squeezed.

That I should give up on her,

and die.

_Squeezed._

Eight years had never been so miserable,

so lonely,

so empty.

Dishonest.

But after eight years,

the hand choking me began to loosen its iron grip,

the squeezing ceased,

and I could finally take a breath,

appreciate the fresh air.

After eight years,

I was finally allowed to love,

to be loved,

to be honest.

I still may be seen as an abomination,

but not in her eyes.

Not her beautiful eyes.

I'm so glad that I never gave up on her,

that what she saw in me was good enough,

was beautiful.

Eight years.

Those eight years had never been so worth it.


End file.
